WHITE AND NERDY: THE QUIZ

I hope everybody has heard Al Yankovic’s song “White and Nerdy.” It’s a take-off on some rapper song. I don’t know the original song, but I always get a good chuckle out of the Al Yankovic rip-off.

And whenever I hear it, I see myself, and so many people I know, in the lyrics of this song. So I decided to use it as the measuring stick against which to measure an individual’s “nerdiness.”

Take this quiz to find out how nerdy you are. You’ll need a sheet of paper, a pen or pencil, and a little time, since Al was exceptionally generous with his lyrics.

By the way, if you decide to skip the paper and pencil, and instead add up your score on any device which requires batteries or electricity, give yourself an additional 2 points.

Okay then! Ready to begin?

THE WHITE AND NERDY QUIZ

1. They see me mowin’ my front lawn

Have you EVER mowed your front lawn?
Give yourself 1 point if yes
0 points if no

2. First in my class here at M.I.T.

If you have ATTENDED M.I.T., 1 point.
If you are/were first in your class at M.I.T., 10 points.
If you have never even heard of M.I.T., 0 points
But…2 points if you were ever in the Top 10% of your class, any class.

3. Got skills, I’m a Champion of DND

If a Champion, 5 points.
If you have EVER played DND, 1 point.
If not, 0 points.
But…subtract 1 point if you don’t know what DND is.

4. MC Escher that’s my favorite MC

If MC Escher IS your favorite MC, 0 points.
If you don’t know who MC Escher is, 3 points.

5. Keep your 40, I’ll just have an Earl Grey tea

If you don’t know what “40” means in this instance, 3 points.
If you have ever enjoyed Earl Grey tea, an additional 3 points.

6. My rims never spin to the contrary, you’ll find they’re quite stationary.

Stationary rims, 2 points
Spinning rims, 0 points
Walk or ride a bike, neither here nor there. 0 points
But subtract 1 point if you ride the bus regularly

7. All of my action figures are cherry

If yes, 3 points.
2 points if you have at least one action figure, but it’s not “cherry.”
If you think action figures are dolls for little boys, and no kid of yours would ever be caught dead playing with one, subtract 1 point

8. Steven Hawkings in my library

If yes, 3 points
If you KNOW who Steven Hawkings IS, 1 point
If not, 0 points

9. My MySpace page is all totally pimped out, I got people begging for my top 8 spaces

Do you have a MySpace? Add 2 points.
If not, 0 points
BUT… if you’ve ever Cyber-Voyeured in MySpace, but not posted anything there, you get 3 points

10. Yo! I know Pi to a thousand places

How many places do you know Pi to? Add that number into your score so far.
If you don’t know Pi, 0 points

11. Ain’t got no grills but I still wear braces

If you have or have ever had braces, add 3 points.

12. I order all of my sandwiches with mayonnaise

If mayonnaise on ALL sandwiches, 3 points.
If only sometimes, 1 point.
If you never eat mayonnaise on a sandwich, 0 points.
If you could spell mayonnaise correctly before looking at this quiz, give yourself 1 extra point.

13. I’m a whiz at Minesweeper I can play for days
Once you see my sweet moves you’re gonna stay amazed,
my fingers movin’ so fast I’ll set the place ablaze

If this is you, add 3 points.
If you’ve ever played Minesweeper at all, 1 point.
If you’ve never played, 0 points.

14. There’s no killer app I haven’t run, At Pascal, well, I’m Number One

If you believe this describes you, or is even close, add 3 points.
If you don’t know what Pascal is, 0 points.

15. Do vector calculus just for fun

If so, give yourself 5 points…NERD!

16. I ain’t got a gat but I gotta soldering gun

If you have a soldering gun, you get 3 points.
If you don’t know what a gat is, you get 3 more points.

17. Happy Days is my favorite theme song

If so, stop right here. You are King (or Queen) of the Nerds!
But if you have ever watched Happy Days, give yourself 2 points

18. I can sure kick your butt in a game of ping pong

Championship level, add 3 points.
Ever played, add 1 point.

19. I’ll ace any trivia quiz you bring on

If you can ace ANY trivia quiz I bring on, stop taking this quiz immediately and apply to be a contestant on Jeopardy!

If you have expertise in a PARTICULAR area where virtually nobody you know can beat you in a trivia quiz, add 3 point.

Add an additional 2 points if your area of expertise is Lord of the Rings.

20. I’m fluent in Java Script as well as Klingon

2 points for Java Script
3 points for Klingon

21. They see me roll on, my Segway!

2 points if you know what a Segway is.

22. I’ve been browsing, inspectin’ X-men comics you know I collect ’em

5 points!

23. The pens in my pocket, I must protect ’em

Another 5 points

24. My ergonomic keyboard never leaves me bored

If you have an ergonomic keyboard, add 3 points.
If you don’t have one, but know what it is, you get 1 point.

25. Shopping online for deals on some writable media

2 points for shopping online for ANYTHING
4 points for shopping online for writeable media

25. I edit Wikipedia

5 points for editing Wikipedia
2 points if you have ever visited Wikipedia
3 points if it is in your Favorites

27. I memorized Holy Grail really well, I can recite it right now and have you ROTFLOL

If you enjoy Monty Python’s Holy Grail, 1 point.
If you have memorized ANY lines from it, 2 points
If you have a T-shirt depicting a scene from the movie, 3 points
5 points if you have ever written “ROTFLOL” in an email or blog entry

28. I got a business doing websites

5 points, if people pay YOU to do their website
2 points if you pay for website space

29. When my friends need some code who do they call?

If anyone has EVER called you for computer advise, 1 point
If they called you for “code,” give yourself a whopping 3 points!

30. I do HTML for them all

2 points for knowing HTML
4 points if you know what the letters HTML stand for

31. Even made a homepage for my dog!

Again I say… STOP. You win.
But if you want to keep playing, give yourself 10 points

32. Yo! Got myself a fanny pack, they were having a sale down at the GAP

1 point for owning a fanny pak, if you are a girl
3 points for owning a fanny pack, if you are a guy
5 points if you’ve ever bought anything from the GAP

33. Spend my nights with a roll of bubble wrap
POP POP! Hope no one sees me gettin’ freaky!

Don’t lie! If you’ve ever done this, give yourself 2 points

34. I’m nerdy in the extreme and whiter than sour creme
I was in AV club and Glee club and even the chess team!

2 points for the AV club
2 points for the Glee club
3 points for the chess team.
5 points if you can only name ONE person who can beat you in chess.
6 points if NOBODY can beat you in chess.
1 point for liking sour creme

35. Only question I ever thought was hard
Was do I like Kirk or do I like Picard?

3 points if you like Kird
1 point if you like Picard

36. I spend every weekend
at the renaissance fair

1 point for every time you’ve GONE to a renaissance fair
3 points for every time you’ve WORKED at a renaissance fair
5 points if you would “spend every weekend at the renaissance fair” if you could

37. I got my name on my underwear

10 points!

Okay. How did you do?

For whatever it’s worth, there is POTENTIAL to score *about* 200, for the really, really nerdy. My score was 54, so I’m about 1/4 nerd. I feel comfortable with that.

(And btw, feel free to share this quiz with anyone you like, but a nod would certainly be appreciated.)