I Wish You Could Hear This

Autumn has always been my favorite season, but even moreso since I’ve moved to Alabama. For one thing, the weather cools off faster and more dramatically than it does in South Florida, and soon enough we’ll have colored leaves. Just like when I was a kid in New York.

But even more importantly, Russ has gotten me interested in football.

It’s a very strange thing that I was married for 16 years to a man who was interested in football, yet I never could see the sense in it. But my first Autumn here with Russ, I got hooked. I think it’s partially due to the fact that every day on my way to work, I pass the stadium. I work for the University of Alabama, where football is steeped in over 100 years of Tradition, and the street I work on is named after a man who is widely regarded and revered as the greatest college football coach who ever lived. But most of all, perhaps, every evening when I get out of work (at least in the glorious Autumn, like today) while I wait for Russ to pick me up, I get to listen to the Million Dollar Band, which is the college marching band for the University of Alabama Crimson Tide.

The band practices in the field right across the street, and I’ve got the best seat in the house. I’m listening to them now, as I write upon my Alfie. I just heard the National Anthem, followed 32 beats later by “Yea, Alabama!” And in a few moments, no doubt, they will break into their soul-stirring rendition of We Will Rock You.

…wait…

Yep. They just started. I wish you could hear this.

But getting back to why I like football now, when I never did before, I have to give a lot of the credit to Russ. He knows Alabama football inside and out. He can tell you anything about any coach, and almost anything about any player, from Joe Namath right down to whoever the current running back might be. (I don’t know, but I’m sure Russ does.)

There is this great moment in my personal history when Mary and I were sitting in the movie theater watching the latest Lord of the Rings, and Legolas did something I didn’t understand. I leaned over to her and whispered “Why did Legolas do that?” and she whispered back, “Well, yadda yadda yadda and zippitty do dah and so on and so forth.” I said “Oh.” And not 60 seconds later, up on the screen, Legolas was explaining himself to his companions by saying, “Yadda yadda yadda and zippity do dah and so on and so forth.” Word for word. It was an uncanny testament to how thoroughly Mary knew her LOTR.

I mention this story now because I very often get the same sensation when watching football with Russ. There will be a penalty, I’ll have no idea what’s going on, but he’ll say, “Offsides, on the Defense, number 93. But they’re going to refuse it. It will be a First Down.” A moment later the man in the striped shirt comes center field to announce “Offsides, on the Defense, number 93, the penalty is refused. First Down.” Russ knows football the way Mary knows Lord of the Rings.

I would have never guessed it before, but the world of college football is a kind of ongoing soap opera, complete with eccentric characters, bad boys and bitter rivalries. And another thing that has surprised me about football is how much of a thinking game it is. It’s not just all about brute strength and knocking the other guy down. There’s a fair bit of psychology and even trickery involved. It’s not always the strongest team that wins, but often the smartest, or at the very least, the one with the highest level of confidence. Suffice it to say I now know a lot more about college football than I EVER thought I would know.

Hey! I just saw four charter buses following each other down Paul Bryant Drive. Good chance they’re bringing in the rival team for tomorrow’s game.

But I was speaking of Fall. The weather is beginning to cool. At this moment, the sky is nearly crystal, and a breeze is blowing. Today is Mary’s birthday, and soon it will be my birthday. After that is Halloween, then Thanksgiving, then Christmas. Soon there will be Bowl Games, and bowls of noodle stuffing. Autumn leaves and pumpkin pie.

As far as I’m concerned, Autumn begins when you see your first pumpkin. This morning, on the drive into work, I saw pumpkins, patiently waiting to be bought at the corner market.

The glorious time is upon us now.