MIXED EMOTIONS

When was the last time I was here? It’s been a while. Well, here I am. I mean, I’ve been here all along, of course, I just haven’t been posting, but perhaps now as things are changing in my life, I will have a little more time for posting. More time for reflection.

The news is that Mary has gone away to college. I want to think of a way to explain this. I was going to say “This leaves a great hole in my life” and that’s true, but it sounds so negative. Well, it really *is* negative, because there is a great deal of sadness, and I miss her being right here. Mary is my buddy, and always will be. So yeah, this is a bummer, and it’s going to be an adjustment for me.

So there is the sadness. But that doesn’t mean I would want to change anything. I know this is the best move for her, and she is going to have a great time in Gainesville. I wouldn’t want to wish that away from her. I want what’s best for her, even tho it might make me sad for a while.

So it really is a mixed bag of emotions. The sadness, and the excitement, for both Mary and myself. Because I also am moving into the next stage of my life. Soon, within the next 3 to 5 months, I hope to be moving to Alabama. So, a certain number of changes have to happen first, leading up to this big change. Kids are growing up and going out on their own. It’s the natural order of things. It’s sad, but it’s good.

It might sound odd, but I am kind of “enjoying” this sadness. Not really, but what I mean is that because I know it is part of the natural progression, it’s okay. I want to go through all the stages that are a natural part of life.

So yes, things are changing. And perhaps at this time I will be inspired to once again use this journal, as a way to document those changes, to reflect and to ponder.