If I were to rank “The Worst Weeks of My Life,” it’s highly possible this last week would make the Top 10. Two word explanation: kidney stone. If you’ve ever had one, you know what I mean. If you’ve ever had a baby, you know what I mean. I’ve heard some people say that having a kidney stone is more painful than having a baby. Having had two kidney stones AND two babies…the jury is still out. It’s close. Very close. The thing about a kidney stone, though, is that at the end of the whole experience, while you are relieved the pain is over, you don’t have a beautiful baby to show for all your suffering. When you factor that into the mix…yeah, I guess kidney stones are a lot less fun.
It started two Wednesday evenings ago. First, my stomach was a bit upset, because we’d had chili for dinner. And this was not just any chili! We’d thrown in about three different kinds of hot peppers!! It was delicious chili. I loved it. But it did not love me.
So, I’m sitting there after dinner, upset stomach, and decide I’m just going to watch a little mindless television (HGTV). Sit down at 8 pm, feel like I’m getting a backache. Oh, great! A backache, on top of the upset stomach!
By 9 pm, I’m in unbearable pain.
At first, I think maybe it’s appendicitis. So we look up appendicitis. Start thinking about when to go to the Emergency Room. Can’t sleep laying down, can almost sleep a little sitting up in the living room chair. For appendicitis, the internet says don’t drink anything, and don’t take any pain relievers. At least I think that’s what it said. My mind’s a little fuzzy on all this, because it’s sort of hard to think straight when you’re in unbearable pain.
I think it was some time in the middle of that restless night that I finally got the idea that this might be a kidney stone. I had one once, probably about 20 years ago, and it was extremely painful, but only lasted several hours for one morning. Then the stone came out, and instantly the pain was gone. I’m really starting to hope this is a kidney stone.
Then I go back on the internet and read that some people can suffer with a kidney stone up to six weeks!! Waaah! Don’t want that.
Don’t want any of this. In the morning, head right over to the doctor. Doctor suspects kidney stone, sends me for a CT scan. Scan confirms a stone, 5mm, which is apparently a respectable size. The internet says people with a stone 5-10 mm only have a 50% chance of passing it on their own. (The “not on their own” options range from medication, to shock waves, to surgery.)
I’m going to breeze through the next several days now, when I’m off work, taking a narcotic-laced prescription pain reliever, sleeping a lot, sometimes feeling good, sometimes feeling bad. Fast forward to Monday, when I feel good enough to go back to work, but midway through the day, not so good again.
Go home, try to nap. Chills. Could it be a fever? Yes. Internet says fever, chills and kidney stone is a BAD combination. Back to the doctor. Who sends me to the Emergency Room. Where I get an IV of antibiotic, and have an ultrasound. And then I’m told that in addition to the stone, I’ve got a UTI.
Oh, this just keeps getting better and better!
But, the good news at the Emergency Room is that they got me feeling better, and sent me home slightly after midnight, rather than having to stay overnight. The doctor said it would probably be overnight, but at the Emergency Room, they said that was “the old fashioned way” and as long as I was having success with the antibiotic, I could go home. So my “That makes my day” moment for this day is that I don’t have to get admitted to the hospital.
I think I went back to work after this, at least a half day here, a half day there. I don’t recall exactly, but it’s all on my time sheet. Anyway, now it’s Wednesday again, and I’ve got an appointment with a Urologist. The appointment is for 10:40 am, but at about 9 am….
Get ready for it…
I finally pass the damn stone!!
Yea!! What great timing, right? I collect up the stone in a paper towel and put it in a little plastic bag, and take it to the Urologist. Everyone there is congratulating me. They’re going to send it out for testing to find out what kind of stone it is, so they can instruct me on how to avoid getting any more stones in the future.
Apparently 90% of all stones are calcium stones, and of those, 80% are another specific type of stone, so there’s a strong likelihood I’ll have the common, garden-variety stone. For right now, I’m taking the basic precautions, drinking lots and lots of water, and avoiding those foods that are known to cause stones.
The sad thing about the list of foods you need to avoid in order to prevent more stones is that it’s full of all kinds of good, healthy delicious foods that I happen to enjoy eating a lot of: nuts, dark green veggies, beans, grapefruit, strawberries. And the worst part of all, BLACK TEA is a culprit is stone formation.
At least that’s what they say on the internet.
The Urologist says there’s no need to cut out anything completely, just take all things in moderation, and above all, drink, drink, drink lots and lots of water, and if you can add some lemon or lime to that water, so much the better. Well, I’m a big fan of lemon and lime flavored waters, so that’s going to have to take the place of my traditional iced tea.
Not to say I’ll never drink iced tea again, but really, if you saw the way I drink iced tea, you wouldn’t be surprised I got a kidney stone. And in addition, every morning I’d been making a Nutri-bullet shake with kale, strawberries, walnuts…remember my list from a few paragraphs back? Top that all off with several servings of bean-fully delicious chili, and it’s like I was trying to cook up the perfect recipe for forming kidney stones.
But who knew? I certainly didn’t. I thought I was doing the right thing. Now I know better.
So this has been a learning experience all around, and I am currently preaching the Healing Waters Gospel to anyone who will listen: DO NOT neglect to drink your water. Seriously. Every day. It’s good for you.
As for food, I think the key here is “All things in moderation.” Really, when hasn’t that been the key?
Now, one more thing I must say, and then I will finish up this woeful tale. Actually, as woeful as it all was, as painful as it all was, in the end it’s a Good Thing, because I learned a lot, and I’m now equipped to make better decisions in the future.
But most of all, it’s a Good Thing, because of this:
I am so happy to be married to Russ. He is THE BEST. He stuck through me every step of the way, accompanied me to every doctor visit, the Emergency Room, asked the questions I didn’t have enough presence of mind to remember. He was the epitome of “In sickness and in health.” And while I’m fussing about how much all this is going to cost, he’s saying, “It doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you get better.”
So, that’s my tale of woe, with the brilliant silver lining.
