NOISY SNACKS

This morning on the News I heard a story that I still can’t believe I actually heard. Perhaps I misunderstood something, but it seems that some snack company that has recently been putting their product in biodegradable bags to help protect the environment has now decided to STOP using those bags and go back to the non-degradable bags because the environmentally-friendly bags are TOO NOISY. I guess people don’t like all the rustling the bags make when you open them, and when you’re reaching in for your chips or pretzels or whatever. So yeah…of course…I mean, we can’t have THAT, can we? Much better to let the earth go to hell in a handbasket than to actually have to listen to a micro-decible more of bag-rustling when somebody opens a bag of chips.

Who are we trying to kid here? If the motivation for this company putting their product in earth-friendly bags was TRULY a concern for the environment, they would not so totally CAVE over the issue of a little extra noise. No. Let’s be honest here for a moment, shall we? I would have to guess there must have been some whining about the noisy bags from some super-sensitive customers. So when all is said and done, it’s not really about the environment, after all. But it is ALL about the Dollar.

So, snack company, do me a favor. No, do me two favors. One: don’t insult me by trying to PRETEND you care about the environment. And Two: stop messing with my head by creating NEWS stories that sound like they should instead be reported on Saturday Night Live.