Today I had a revelation, these words just came to be out of nowhere. It goes something like this: “Marriage is something that very many people attempt, but a great number of people do not do it CORRECTLY. I do not intend to attempt marriage again, unless I am reasonably sure I am doing it mostly correctly.” I’m not talking about looking for perfection in another person, because you will never find that. I just mean there are certain BASIC principles you should be sure are being adequately met so that you do not doom yourselves to failure before you even begin.
I could go on and on about these basic principles, in fact I could write a whole essay about this, and I may sometime, but at the moment I just wanted to say this much, and also to say that when all is said and done, I think it is better to be on your own than to be tied to someone who is going to give you a royal pain in the ass (pardon my French).
It comes down, I guess, to the age-old balance of privledges and responsibilities, pluses and minuses. There is good and bad in every situation. Figure out what’s important, and make sure the good outweighs the bad.
And also don’t stupidly gloss over important issues, glibly thinking like the bubblegum pop lyrics so eloquntly put it, “Love will keep us together.” Unless you are both standing together on a solid foundation, love is NOT going to keep you together; the storms of life will come, and one or the other or both of you is going to fall off if there is no solid ground underneath you.
This could be said for anything, I suppose, not just marriage.
Marriage is like college. Probably for many good reasons, but mostly for the reason that I’ve decided not to worry about it at all until it happens to spring up one day and I realize I’ll probably have to start doing some work now. Mostly I feel this way because I can’t see myself being very good at it. I’m more of the “love will keep us together” type, even though I know like you said, that’s not all there is to it. I guess that’s why people shouldn’t get married young, they need time to figure out stuff like this.
Well said! Especially the part about not getting married too young. Also wise not to think too much about it too much, not to dwell on it, because there are so many things in life, and this is only one. And the longer you wait, the more opportunity you have to, as you say, “figure out stuff.”
Also, not that it’s really the same thing, but I firmly believe that living with roommates before you get married can do an awful lot of good to a marriage. A lot of it is just knowing how to get along with people on a day to day basis.
See, as much as I don’t look it (or maybe I do…I dunno, what do you think) I like to think I am very logical on romantic issues. Everyone is always telling me I am not a normal girl because I am not blinded by flowers and candy. I actually look at the person. The quote I like to think about when I think of love is this, “Love is being able to be in the same room as someone for 10 minutes” Basically, you should marry someone who you know you could lve with. Thats all that really matters for me because essentially, that is what it comes down to.
You do seem a logical person, which is a real plus in romantic situations—in fact, in ANY situation! As for the bit about 10 minutes, I would make it a slightly longer time than that, dontcha think?. How about ten years?
Actually, the quote I like to think about is that thing you said in a poem a while back, I don’t remember the particulars, but it was something about loving someone when they were throwing up sick. Do you know the poem I mean? The point was, Love is where the rubber hits the road. That’s the true test, the “for better or worse” part—as long as the “for worse” part does not involve physical abuse or adultery or uncontrollable addictions, etc, you get my drift. Nobody deserves to be treated like that! Love for another person should never mean you have to give up loving and respecting yourself.
Sick and Tired of Love Poems. That’s where I wrote it. And as for the ten minutes thing, it’ OBVIOUSLY an overexaggeration, lol. But I got it from Snow Day.
The thing is, I am generally considered “logical” (which is my nice way of saying unromantic or everyone else saying heartless. lol) because I am not blinded by the stupid little superficialities. I mean, someone may look like Johnny Depp now, but unless you can still love them when they are 300 lbs and bald there’s no use. Similarly, any guy can get you flowers and candy, that takes little to no thought. It is the guy that comes home with something special (a pack of glass bottles cream soda in my case) that is a keeper because you know that not only does he know you well, but he took the time and effort to think of something special he could get for you that YOU would really appreciate.
I was tlaking to Melissa and Lieirn about this on the way home from SugarLoaf and they were saying how they were suckers for guys who write them poems and sing them songs and I was saying that I would rather they didnt because it is so obvious and cliche.
I guess just in general I prefer things that seem like they took a good deal of thouht and creativity (even if it is not very good, its the thought that counts)
Don’t know how I managed to go off onto this tangent, but nonetheless, it is very interesting to me because it makes me realize that I really am not like normal girls. (which is good) 🙂