Friday is my birthday and I’ll be 53. As I approach this birthday, naturally my thoughts turn to ageing. I’ve just come from the doctor’s office, where I had a “Well Visit,” and thankfully all is indeed well — except for my weight, of course, and some “borderline” high blood pressure, both which I need to work on. After the doctor visit, I came home, and put down these thoughts on “ageing” and I feel that as I approach this birthday, now is a good time to share these thoughts:
Last week I took the book Healthy at 100 by John Robbins from the library, and there are some revolutionary ideas about ageing in there. The ideas in this book are causing me to re-evaluate my own ideas about ageing. I’m beginning to formulate an attitude that ageing doesn’t have to be something that you “fight tooth and nail” or “fight every step of the way.” In the past, for me, it’s always been all about trying to stay young. For years I’ve had this crazy idea that every five pounds I lose is the equivalent to making me one year younger. Now, to be sure, at my weight, losing weight is a good thing. However, it doesn’t have to be about getting younger. However, it is about getting healthier.
See, that’s where I’ve had some confusion. I think that for too long, I’ve been equating youth with health. Now, of course, in general, people are healthier when they are younger. But being young doesn’t necessarily mean being healthy. Older people can be just as healthy, if not healthier, than young people.
I really want to get past this misconception I’ve had for far too long that youth=health. When you think about it, health is to a great extent the end product of good habits. Not completely, and not always, but surely to a great extent. There are some things that will happen to us health-wise that cannot be prevented, not at any age. But as for those things which can be prevented…well, I want to prevent them.
So…it’s not so much about being young. It’s more about being smart.
According to this book I’ve been reading, in some cultures, old people are revered. Age is celebrated. In those cultures, apparently, people lie about their age to make themselves appear older rather than younger, so that they can get more respect, and have more authority in their community. Clearly, that is not the way things work in the Western world. And of course I have to live in the Western world. But just because I am IN the Western world, does not necessarily mean I have to be OF it.
Nowhere is it written that I MUST “buy into” the prevailing philosophy about ageing. Nobody is required to “buy in.” These are decisions we make for ourselves. I CAN make a different decision about how I choose to view and approach the ageing process. It’s entirely up to me what kind of attitude I choose to have about it.
Because mainly, I think it is a matter of ATTITUDE, more than anything else. Having a good attitude is probably the one most important factor in whether or not a person “ages well.” I want to go into this phase of my life with excitement and expectation for things getting better and better. I’m never actually going to be any younger than I am now, but I can certainly be HEALTHIER, if I choose to be.
All my life I have prided myself on being a rebel. Well…what better time than now? Why not rebel against the common attitudes and misconceptions about getting old? Why not create for myself a new definition of what it means to get older? To grow old “gracefully.” Yes! That’s what it’s really all about, isn’t it? “Fighting it every step of the way,” does not conjure up images of gracefulness, does it? I prefer to adopt an attitude of grace, and acceptance, and joy.
Now, what I’m saying here is NOT that I gracefully succumb to the loss of health that generally come with old age. Not at all! What I’m saying is that instead of assuming that old age means a loss of health, I wish to strive to live in such a way that health will not be so greatly diminished, and in some ways may even be enhanced. I wish to establish a pattern of healthy living that will make the ageing process one of comfortable delight.
Yes, there will be some signs of ageing. Skin will wrinkle, that can’t be helped. But by taking care of my skin properly, I can minimize the wrinkling. Menopause is a fact of life, it can’t be stopped. So be it. I’ll probably never be as flexible again as I was when I was six years old. But by doing some stretching and exercising every day, I can be as flexible and comfortable in my body as I can possibly be.
For me, of course, first and foremost, it’s about the weight. Losing weight does not make me “younger,” but it will make me healthier. Five years ago my “borderline” high blood pressure dropped to normal when I was thirty pounds lighter, and I anticipate it will drop again, once I start taking off these excess pounds.
Then it’s physical conditioning. Doing exercise will not make me “younger,” but it will make me stronger and more flexible.
Eating right can keep my system clean and healthy. A 53 year old woman who eats whole grains and vegetables can be far healthier than any 20 year old who is nourished solely on fast food and snack cakes. I can do that. I can make those choices. I can make all these choices! I can be better than I am now. Maybe not “younger,” but “better.”
The point of all this is that I want to give up the idea about getting younger, and celebrate the fact that I am getting older. I don’t want to approach this time in my life with dread. This can be a very exciting, very fulfilling time in my life. By the Grace of God, for the first time in my life, I have someone who loves me, and we have emotional stability together. We also have financial stability, and a much greater degree of security than I’ve ever experienced before. We also have some degree of freedom together, not being tied down with little children at home (though we do have cats, but they will not be with us forever, and when they are gone, our freedom will increase.) And probably best of all, I am way past the point of worrying about what people think of me, and structuring my life to please other people. I can wear flat, comfortable sandals instead of high heels and stockings, because I’m not trying to impress anyone, either on a professional or personal level. This is a perk that some younger people do not get to enjoy.
I shall enjoy it immensely.
I don’t want to “stop” the ageing process. But I DO want to increase my health. And equally as important, I want to improve my attitude about ageing. I’m moving in the right direction, I think, but I’m not there yet.
For instance, here is a perfect example: right now, I color my hair. I have been coloring my hair for many years. But I recently saw something on TV about how more and more women are celebrating their maturity by letting their hair go gray, and I thought, “Wow! I wish I was brave enough to do that.” I’m not brave enough or liberated enough to do that…not yet, anyway. But I am certainly looking forward to that day.
